I don’t give a #@%& about swear words—terms that parents respond to with a warning “Language” when such oaths are uttered by or in front of their children. What I consider truly “foul language” is the kind that obfuscates communication. Clarity is essential if one is to fulfill the purpose of communication, which is to bring understanding to the listener—or reader—of the idea being conveyed.
Grammar provides the structure for clear communication; if we follow the rules, we can go from A to B on a clear path that leads to understanding. Ignore the rules, and chaos lies ahead—or at least a chuckle from your reader. I’m often tempted to shout “Language!” when confronted with grammar violations, especially misplaced modifiers. A modifier is a word or phrase that describes another word or words. You won’t have to look far to find modifiers that confuse rather than clarify.
On the positive side, though, misplaced modifiers present great opportunities for laughter. Groucho Marx used misplaced modifiers to his advantage with his comment, “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.”
One of the best ways to avoid misplaced modifiers is to make sure the phrase or clause appears next to the word it describes. If it doesn’t, prepare for some fun at your expense.
A recent addition to my collection of funny misplaced modifiers appeared in a press release about a donation made by a local financier. The press release began, “Surrounded by his loving family, a check was presented to ….” I was happy for the beloved check and laughed out loud at the thought of its smiling face as it greeted its relatives.
I moved the modifier to its proper place for inclusion in our newsletter, but I discovered the check with the loving family later in a Facebook announcement. Maybe it was just as well—we all need to smile more and what better medium to illustrate that not everything is as perfect as it seems.