Banishing those insidious if onlys
You’ve all heard people say, “If only I could win the lottery,” or “If only I had a fancy car,” or “If only I were younger (or thinner or richer).” This phenomenon—which I call the “if-onlys”—presents those of us who live with chronic pain an especially seductive temptation. We may find ourselves constantly yearning:
- If only I didn’t have chronic pain.
- If only researchers could find a cure.
- If only things could be the way they used to be.
Beware! These are not the harmless expressions of hope that they seem. Instead, the “if onlys” are insidious roadblocks that prevent us from living our lives to the fullest.
That is not to say we need to—or should—give up hope. We can continue to keep our eye on that faraway star of a cure. But, in the meantime, if we are to thrive, we must accept our current condition, make those accommodations necessary to living as rich a life as possible, and cope the best we can with things the way they are.
If we put our lives on hold while waiting for the if-onlys to come true, we squander the most precious gift we all possess—time.
—Susan Dudley Gold